Tuesday, June 25, 2002


I can't tell you how pleased I was to see what the surgeon had done to my poor boob when I took off the bandage. It is definitely Bride of Frankenstein material. Now, they may have to go back in for another round, which I can't imagine will sit well with the body as a whole. No, really, I took a poll of my organs, and they all concurred that surgery is bad. Nobody was really happy afterwards, least of all the boob. But the brain is in control, as usual, and has made valiant attempts to assuage everybody else. No, we need to have this done. We'll give you nice drugs to calm you down and stuff, would that be OK? Alright, now I don't want to hear any more complaints from you.

Sunday, June 23, 2002


USA has a movie show that is called 'Before and After'noon movie, where they remodel somebody's house, garden, whatever, in between showing the movie. I was watching the show the other day, where they were remodeling a woman's nursery because she was going to have twins. The movie? It was "A Family Torn Apart," loosely based on the Menendez brothers.

Wednesday, June 12, 2002


Oh, sorry, did I disappoint you? Did you just put a search into Google that said BOOBS TITS HOOTERS or something equally prosaic? How about SEX HOT DIRTY SEX WITH MINORS? Well, you've found none of the above. Nyeah.

Anyway, I'm having one of my GIGANTIC TITS cut open tomorrow. Blah blah blah lump blah blah blah biopsy, blah blah blah. I've had a fibrous cyst in my other TITTY so I'm not overly concerned. Mostly, I would like for it to be over. They told me there are "suspicious calcifications" that will also need to be removed. I have assured them that nothing that lives in my VOLUPTUOUS BREAST is planning to take over the government, but they insist on taking out the calcifications anyway. Go figure. I will need to have a word with my body parts to stop acting suspicious, because I would like to retain most of my anatomy, if possible.

Sunday, June 09, 2002

Ode to a Chat Room

As I sit and play my game, trying the achieve the American dream of getting money for nothing, I idly read the chat board. What do I find? Drama? Intrigue? No, I find more than that, even. I find prose that seems more to me like beat poetry, written by illiterates. The illiterati.

Oh dear, I have no idea of whom I am speaking to

do you what to go lol

kimberly are you stocking me

i didnt meanto do that why are you mad at me please dont go

Human drama, in incomplete run-on sentences. I am fascinated by it, and no matter how much I want to turn it off while I play, I find I cannot. Will Barbie20672 find any cute guys on today? Is anyone on from Maryland? I find I must know.

Friday, June 07, 2002

Ooga Booga

We're busting out our rain dances here in North Carolina. It seems completely wrong to have to hope for rain in a state that gets hurricanes. In a normal summer, you just hope that you can get where you're driving to without the sky opening up and shooting visibility all to hell.
"Are those tail lights?"
"Um, I dunno."
"Well, it's all I have to follow, so here goes."

But not this summer! This summer we have brown grass and watering restrictions. Also, it has been jungle hot, which is not exactly a new thing. Bah. I'm going to the beach.

Monday, June 03, 2002

How Carlin-esque

On my way to work today, I ended up driving behind a casket company truck. That in and of itself was enough to give one pause. On the back of the truck, it said, "Please Drive Safely." Isn't that bad for business?