Or Not

My doctor, who I have dubbed "Dr. Hottie" (oh yes, he is tasty), informs me that my boob will not actually eat a city. It's not growing, it's swelling. Whatever. He also told me that I should oil it up and massage it. I'm not making this up. On the surface, I was cool. Oh, really? OK. In my head, though, the porn music was playing. You look like you need a massage... bah de chick-a wah wah, bah de chick-a wah wah....