Ten reasons why Super Jen totally rules:

1) Can negotiate with machines. Bring her your photocopiers, your hole punchers, your ornery staplers. She will make them want to work for you.

2) Will tell you if you have food in your teeth. Will also point out your fashion faux pas, if it is for your own good.

3) Is not afraid to go out in public without any makeup and/or without bathing.

4) Will not ridicule you for staying with Mr. Wrong. Much.

5) Can listen to your problems without trying to solve them. Sometimes the best superhero power is knowing when not to try and be a superhero.

6) Always has gum.

7) Will not flaunt extensive database of trivial information in her brain.

8) Knows where all the cool toys are online. Owns many cool toys offline.

9) Has superlative grammar. Can sometimes spell.

10) When activated, highly sophisticated emitter in boobies can attract every penis-bearer within 5-mile radius.